When I was young the summers seemed longer and we spent most
of our time outside visiting with the neighbors and doing a whole lot of
nothing. Occasionally something really exciting would happen; the Fuller Brush
man would come. His visits were not scheduled but nobody seemed to mind. My
mother was the most friendly and generous person. She and I (and my siblings and neighbors)
would sit down and enthusiastically look at all the cool gadgets and gizmos he
had in his attaché case. I particularly liked the hairbrushes. He was a
masterful salesperson displaying the items with pride and explaining how they
would make our lives better. My mother would occasionally make a purchase but
not always. Regardless, neither party considered the visit a waste of time. It
was always mutually enjoyable and we’d look forward to the next.
My mother’s openness to others influenced me greatly. In
reflecting, I see now that she was the living example of the scripture passage
from Philippians where St. Paul teaches; Do
nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as more
important than yourself. (Phil 2: 3)
I miss my Mom. I miss those days. Life was less hectic. In
my memory, people were calmer and friendlier. Whether this is true or not is
hard to tell but the desire to recapture the feeling is real. The world today
feels different. The market place has changed drastically; in some ways for the
better but not in all ways. Unlike days gone by, buying and selling in our
modern economy is often mediated by a device of some sort. We live in a
constructed world of “convenience”. But it’s not nearly as much fun. In many
ways, relationships have been replaced with computers.
My mother’s example taught me to honor the energy of God
found in creation and in each person who is a little eternity and a mystery to
be discovered. She showed me that relationship is truly the central theme of
our Christian faith. We profess belief in the Holy Trinity; that God is
essentially a quality of relationship itself, an event of communion. Our
journey as disciples is a journey to a fuller realization of life in the
Trinity and what it means to be a part of that boundless movement that continuously
calls us forth and draws us back in an infinite exchange of mutual love. It is
a life of giving and receiving between participants equal in all aspects, a
reciprocity of needs and gifts.
Journeys are filled with the unknown and require faith. Journeys
are exciting and mysterious but often risky, demanding and uncomfortable. If we
are open, our journey can take us to what Pope Francis refers to as the
“existential peripheries”; to people and places that are out of our normal
routines or control but stretch us beyond our comfort zones. Each new encounter with another person is
certainly inherent with risk. But inherent also is the potential for blessing.
We don’t know until we try.
I decided to make Lent 2017 a season to honor “the other”;
to make a thoughtful effort to be more like my Mom. One way to do this was to
form new habits in my relationship to the market place and its modern
conveniences which make it possible to do business without any face to face
communication with a person. Today’s market economy encourages us to pay at the
pump, self-check at the grocery store, use mobile deposits, drive up to the ATM
machine, take advantage of post office kiosks, order online, etc. We are told
that these conveniences will save us time and energy but I can’t help but
wonder if they don’t unintentionally contribute to loneliness and isolation.
What once were natural and comfortable exchanges between individuals now seem
awkward and almost abnormal. Our collective psyche is being molded to consider
the other not so much as gift but more as a problem to be avoided. If the
Fuller Brush man appeared today, I’m sorry to say that my reception would probably
not be as it was years ago. I’ve been swept into the “too busy” way of thinking.
I don’t believe this is the person my mother raised me to be.
These past six weeks I have been “fasting” from these
conveniences and since embarking on this Lenten fast, I’ve called more people
by name, offered gratitude more frequently, smiled more often and reassured
others on a job well done; all forms of blessing. I have deliberately chosen to
take extra time and go out of my way, but I must admit, I’ve experienced a
profound sense of happiness. Yes, I’ve had short tempered attendants and fought
my own impatience, but my decision to see the other with new eyes has allowed
me to be disturbed less easily and to pay attention to the preferences and
demands I make as a consumer.
The Law of Karma states that what we put out into the
universe comes back to us. What we do to another, we do to ourselves. Simple
really. I’m learning it is possible to recapture that feeling of a calmer and
friendlier world. I just need to seek community over immunity and breath out
what I desire to breathe in.
Happy Easter!
Mary Garlow
Mary Garlow